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  1. UAMS Health
  2. Love Lives
  3. After a Loss
  4. Caring for Yourself After Loss

Caring for Yourself After Loss

After you lose a pregnancy or a baby, take time to focus on yourself and let your body and mind heal.

Your Physical Health

Below are some tips for taking care of yourself physically:

Eat Healthy

To heal and nourish your body, eat healthy foods and drink plenty of water each day. This includes foods high in calcium (kale, spinach, collards, milk, yoghurt) and fiber (bran, broccoli, fruit).

Rest

Sleep helps to heal your body and reduce stress. Good sleep habits and restful sleep are important. Try to allow your body plenty of rest in the first week, particularly in the first 24 hours. If you find it difficult to sleep, try taking a warm shower or stretching before bed. A regular pre-bedtime routine will help prepare your body for rest.

Activity

Slowly increase your daily activities until you are back to your normal activity level. Rest often as you recover. Avoid lifting, pushing, or pulling heavy items for 2-4 weeks. If you have had a C-section, do not lift more than 10 pounds for 6 weeks after delivery. Talk with your healthcare provider before returning to work.

Maintain Proper Hygiene

To avoid infection, shower at least once a day throughout the first week. Do not take baths, swim in pools or soak in hot tubs until your doctor says it is okay.

You may continue to bleed for 3-6 weeks after delivery. Use pads, not tampons and change your pads often. After the first week, bleeding should lighten until it is white or pale yellow in color. Your normal period should return in 1-3 months.

After using the restroom, use a peri-bottle filled with warm water to rinse your perineum (the area between the vagina and rectum). Use a clean towel to dry. Always wipe from front to back to help prevent infection. Continue to do this until this area has healed (this may take 4-6 weeks).

Care of Cesarean Section Incision

If you have had a C-section, you do not need to cover your incision. Keep this area as clean and dry as possible.

Clean your incision every day: lightly wash with antibacterial soap, rinse with water, and gently dry with a clean towel. Do not put any lotions, perfumes, or powders around the area unless prescribed by your doctor.

Pelvic Rest

Your healthcare provider may advise you to wait 4-6 weeks, or until your bleeding has stopped, to have sex, use tampons, or douche. Talk with your doctor about when it is okay to start these again.

Breast Care

The birth of your baby stimulates hormones that tell your body to make milk. Milk supply may come in 3-5 days after delivery. Your breasts may feel full and may leak milk. Stimulating your breasts will tell your body to keep making milk, and not stimulating your breasts will send the message to your body to stop making milk and your supply will go away.

Some mothers choose to pump their milk and donate to a milk bank. If you are interested in this option, or have any questions and concerns, you may contact UAMS Lactation Services at (501) 526-3558 or visit the UAMS Milk Bank website: UAMS Milk Bank Bereavement

Medication

Abdominal cramping and pain are common, especially in the first few days after delivery. Take all medicine prescribed by your doctor and continue to take your prenatal vitamins for up to 6 weeks after delivery. Tylenol (acetaminophen) or Advil (ibuprofen) are often used for pain and cramping. Talk with your doctor before taking other pain medication.

Please do NOT drive while taking narcotics. If the pain increases with time, please see your doctor.

You may also use over the counter stool softeners and fiber supplements for constipation.

Monitor Your Temperature

Take your temperature in the evening for the first 5 days. If your temperature rises above 100.4°F, contact your doctor. A fever may indicate an infection in the body.

Your Emotional Health

Below are some tips for taking care of yourself emotionally:

Talk about Your Feelings

When you’re ready, find a few people you feel safe talking with and share your feelings. Talk about your baby, and express your needs to your partner, close friends, family, religious or spiritual leader, healthcare provider, hospital social worker, or a counselor.

Journaling

Write your thoughts and feelings in a journal. This will allow you to express your feelings in your own way. You can write letters, poems, or songs to your baby or about your baby.

Make an Album or Memory Box

Place items or pictures that are special to you in a memory box or album.

Special Jewelry

Wear jewelry with a special charm or birth stone.

Join a Support Group

Your local hospital or community may have a support group for family members dealing with pregnancy or infant loss. There may also be groups available online. A support group will allow you to express your feelings, share with others and receive support from those with similar experiences.

Select a Spokesperson

If you do not want to tell others yourself, you can ask a trusted friend or family member to share things for you.

Treat Yourself

Go see a movie, get a manicure, have dinner with friends, or whatever small activity makes you feel a little better.

Exercise

When you are up for it, start taking walks. Regular exercise is good for your body and your mind.

Memorialize Your Baby

Some people find comfort in things like planting a tree or flowers, painting special stepping stones to place in a garden, holding a personal memorial, lighting a candle, or arranging for a lantern or butterfly release. You can plan your own special memorial service to remember your baby, or attend a service with your local hospital or support group. There are many personal, meaningful ways to express your grief and remember your baby.

Make a Donation

Give your time, talents, or money to a local group in memory of your baby. This can help support other parents who may are grieving.


Warning Signs

Call 911 if you have any of the following:

  • Pain in your chest
  • Shortness of breath
  • Seizures
  • Thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else

Call your doctor if you have any of the following:

  • Bleeding that soaks through a pad in 1 hour, or blood clots the size of an egg or larger
  • Incision that is not healing
  • Red or swollen leg (especially if painful or warm to touch)
  • Temperature of 100.4 or higher
  • Headache that does not get better even with medicine
  • Headache with vision changes

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Phone: (501) 686-7000
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