Lactation After Loss
Our heart goes out to you as you grieve your loss. Losing your baby is one of the most devastating experiences a parent can have. You may be surprised and dismayed to find that your body is making milk for a baby who can no longer benefit from it. Although it is the normal process that occurs after a pregnancy, it can seem unfair, and a barrier to grieving. Each parent, each family and each situation is unique. For some parents, ending the milk production is important, as not every person can or may even wish to donate their milk after such a shattering loss. For others, donating milk can be a special way to honor their baby as well as to help others, and many people have found that donating helps with their grief. Milk donation is not a choice that fits every family. We honor your decision and respect that you are the expert on your family and know your situation best. UAMS Milk Bank can assist you with whatever you choose. Information to help you make the best decision for you and your family is included here.
Lactation Suppression
In the first few days following delivery, your body will begin to produce mature milk. This is commonly referred to as milk “coming in.” If you would like to stop the process of lactation, you can work on lactation suppression through a gentle process for your body.
As milk begins to fill your breasts, it can lead to engorgement. Some ideas for comfort during the milk suppression process include:
- Hand express or pump just enough milk to feel less engorged (until your breasts feel comfortable again). Expressing for long periods of time (or pumping your milk) to empty will encourage milk production.
- Use ice or cold packs to reduce engorgement swelling and pain.
- Take Ibuprofen or acetaminophen to help decrease pain and discomfort.
- Stand in a warm shower or sit in a warm bath. The warm water running over your back or surrounding the breasts can cause milk to letdown and decrease engorgement and discomfort. (Note: Warmth can increase swelling and inflammation; use heat for only a few minutes at a time a few times a day.)
- Some parents have found that regularly drinking sage or peppermint tea decreases their milk production.
- Some parents have found that CaboCreme can help with the inflammation. Use of cabbage leaves has been recommended by some, but this may place you at risk of irritation and infection, it is no longer recommended by breastfeeding experts.
- If the above steps are not helping, you may benefit from physician-prescribed medication such as cabergoline. Do not take this medication unless it is prescribed to you by a physician.
- Wear a comfortable supportive bra. Note: Binding breasts is no longer recommended and can lead to painful plugged ducts.
Be on the lookout for signs of mastitis which may include fever, body aches, redness, pain and swelling in the breasts. If you experience any symptoms, reach out to your healthcare provider. Initial treatment for these symptoms is to continue to express small amounts of milk to remain comfortable. Follow the ‘R-I-I-C-E’ acronym – rest, anti-inflammatory meds, ice & cold compresses, express your milk (in small amounts). Be aware that breasts continue to produce small amounts of milk for weeks, months, or longer. Avoid nipple stimulation, as this may cause a small supply of milk to continue.
Milk Donation After Loss
We understand that the loss of your baby is an unimaginable grief, and we want to offer you our deepest compassion and support during this incredibly difficult time. If it feels right for you, the UAMS Milk Bank is here to help you donate your milk, offering a way to give a meaningful gift in your child’s memory. For some families, milk donation can be a small but profound way to feel connected to their baby, knowing that their milk is helping others in need.
There is no minimum or maximum amount of milk you need to donate. Every drop you provide will go directly to helping hospitalized infants who need safe, pasteurized donor milk. If you have an abundance of milk or are considering expressing for a longer period of time, we can help you donate it for future use in creating milk for other babies. This process involves a few simple screening steps, including a note from your doctor and some lab work, which we offer at no cost to you. Please know that we will do everything we can to make this process as smooth and gentle as possible, and you can move forward with it at your own pace.
If you choose to donate, we can arrange to have your milk picked up or shipped directly from the hospital. We will store it safely in our freezer to allow you time to decide whether you wish to proceed with the screening or continue donating. Your milk can be kept frozen for up to six months, so there is no rush to make a decision.
When you feel ready, or if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. You can contact us by phone at (501) 686-5355 or email us at milkbank@uams.edu. We are here for you, and we will support you in whatever path you choose, with as much care and understanding as possible.
Obtaining a Breast Pump After Loss
For bereaved parents who have lost a baby, navigating the practicalities of life after such an immense loss can feel overwhelming. One of those challenges may be obtaining a breast pump, especially since insurance companies and WIC typically require a live infant for coverage. We want to assure you that you are not alone, and support is available. The UAMS Milk Bank offers breast pumps free of charge to families who wish to continue lactation and donate milk in their baby’s memory. This act of donation can be deeply meaningful, offering a sense of connection to your child and the comfort of knowing you are helping others during a time of profound grief.
As one bereaved mother shared, “Losing my baby was the hardest thing I ever experienced. I didn’t expect to make milk after her death. Being able to donate and know that I helped save lives, that I fed small, sick babies somewhere, made me feel in some small way like a mother. Thank you.”
If you would like to receive a breast pump or need any assistance, the UAMS Milk Bank is here to support you with compassion and care. Additionally, ARDO Breast Pumps offers an empathetic bereavement team that will send a pump directly to your home, no questions asked, by calling or texting 415-504-1754. We understand the weight of your loss and are here to offer any help or resources you may need during this incredibly difficult time. Please reach out—we are here for you.
Bereavement Resources – You are not alone.
Mamie’s Poppy Plates is a Little Rock Arkansas based organization founded by a mother who lost her baby before birth, Mamie, her sleeping angel. Mamie’s Poppy Plates mission is to bring comfort and care to families all over The United States who have suffered the loss of an infant. We want contribute toward preserving the precious reminders of these beautiful lives through our plates and help parents and family find healing in their grief. All of us who have endured this tragic loss know the value and significance in our babies hand and footprints, whether they are in Heaven or on Earth, and our plates are the perfect keepsake for parents who sadly are unable to take their babies home from the hospital.
The Arkansas Children’s Hospital Center for Good Mourning offer help and support to those dealing with the loss of a loved one. Please contact the listings above before attempting to attend sessions to ensure that the times and locations are still accurate. All have no charge and are for all adults unless otherwise noted.
Hope Family Care Ministries
From website: At Hope Family Care, we walk with families who have lost a child as they learn to navigate their pain and grief while bringing hope and healing. We offer support for parents, siblings, and grandparents. Each family is supported through the receiving of Hope Bags, Hope Family Retreats, and our Hope Unshakeable curriculum in small groups, as well as various other ways of personal connection.
We believe no family should have to walk through the loss of a child alone. Hope Family Care provides the community that families need as they move forward though their loss in a healthy way. -Jeff and Mackenzie Rollins (co-founders). Resources for Spanish Speaking Families.
The UAMS Love Lives Bereavement Program provides family‐centered support for those who have suffered a pregnancy or infant loss. Our mission is to provide bereavement support by embracing family and friends with the best in physical, emotional and spiritual care.
Sad Dad’s Club
SAD DADS CLUB helps fellow bereaved fathers navigate life after loss by nurturing a supportive community and providing access to mental health services.
It began with three friends in Maine, men who formed a strong bond after their daughters were stillborn. Chris, Jay, and Rob found solace in each other, and realized how few resources there are for men grieving their child. Together, they founded SAD DADS CLUB – or the “worst club, best guys.”
Today, SDC has members around the world. We engage virtually, and in-person – both regionally or during larger bi-annual gatherings in Maine. Anything from hikes to sporting events to brewery meet ups over beers and tears.
Low-cost counseling for adults, children, families, and couples. Serving families in Little Rock and NWA. Your mental, emotional, spiritual and relational health is important to you and we are here to help. Request an appointment.
NEC Society Research, Education, Advocacy
The NEC Society is the world’s leading nonprofit focused on necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC). We are led by patient-families, clinicians, and researchers to understand and prevent NEC so that babies and families never have to experience the devastation of NEC. Our mission is clear: to build a world without NEC through research, education, and advocacy.