Holidays can be a difficult time for people that have had a loss.
There is no right or wrong way to handle the holidays. Some may wish to follow family traditions, while others may choose to do new things. When we are already experiencing the stress of bereavement, the holidays can create more pressure. The key to coping with grief during the holidays is to find the way that is right for you.
Here are some ways you can prepare in advance:
Plan for Approaching Holidays
Be aware that this might be a difficult time for you. The additional stress may affect your thoughts, emotions, and how your body feels. It is helpful to be as prepared as possible for these feelings.
Recognize that Holidays Won’t Be the Same
It is likely impossible to keep everything the same as it was, so try to be kind with your expectations about what is possible. Doing things a bit differently can acknowledge the change in your life, while keeping a connection with the past.
Be Careful Not to Isolate Yourself
It’s important to take time for yourself while also staying open to support from family and friends.
Holidays May Affect Other Family Members or Close Friends
Talk over your plans. Respect their choices and needs, and compromise if necessary.
Avoid Additional Stress
Decide what you really want to do, and what can be avoided.
When coping with grief during the holidays, it is important to remember that not everyone grieves the same way or finds comfort in the same things. Some families have found comfort in the following suggestions:
Remember the deceased: Make a holiday donation to a charitable organization in their memory. Share photos and memories. Include your baby in conversations and celebrations.
Take care of yourself: Plan relaxation time; do things to help you relax (such as taking warm baths, watching movies, reading, playing games, or exercising). Plan to be with the people that you enjoy. Get plenty of sleep, eat healthy foods, and avoid drinking too much alcohol. Keep a diary or journal of feelings, and how you and your family are coping.
Limit social gatherings: Choose only to attend the ones that give you more comfort than stress. Be willing to leave a party or function early if you are uncomfortable.
Do something for others: Volunteer at a soup kitchen, ask someone who is alone to share the day with your family, provide help to a family in need, volunteer in a hospital. Helping others may help you feel better.