Oct. 17, 2014 | A searchlight cast into the chilly, clear October sky served not only as a reminder of those being honored by the National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day Wave of Light Vigil, but as a symbol of what many in attendance sought: a ray of light.

“As I stood still in reverence and looked around, there was a young lady standing near me. I watched as tears poured down her cheeks as she bowed her head in prayer. She stood there alone, wearing a small memento with her baby’s footprints pinned to her clothing,” said Lori Gardner, a nurse manager with the UAMS Arkansas Fetal Diagnosis and Management Program and a caregiver who has supported many families who have experienced infant loss.

“As the ceremony ended, I gently touched her shoulder and asked if I could hug her. She opened her arms so wide and then embraced me, crying on my shoulder. After releasing from the hug, she kindly thanked me and said, ‘I really needed that hug.’”

Gardner, the young woman she comforted and many more gathered on the steps of the Arkansas State Capitol to share and remember so many lives that ended too early. The event was supported by bereavement organizations and local health care agencies including UAMS.

The Day of Remembrance, Oct. 15, was proclaimed by President Ronald Reagan in 1988 as a day for all babies who died too soon due to miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death and other causes. The vigil, organized locally, sought to gather those who have experienced such loss to let them know they are not alone.

“When you feel like you just cannot bear it anymore, these vigils and support organizations can help you feel so not alone,” said Shannon Barringer, a genetic counselor in the UAMS College of Medicine’s Obstetrics and Gynecology Department. “Our patients need to have every opportunity to share their grief, show the love they have for their babies, and feel acknowledged by the community.”

Regina Binz, a certified clinical specialist of cytogenetics at UAMS, lost her infant son Ryan in 2007. She served as one of the hosts of the event.

“Grief is sacred territory, and the grief of losing a child is a grief like no other. ‘Alone’ can be a very frightening thing,” she told those gathered. “We are here tonight to unify: To respect lives by honoring them in death; to show the world that we cannot be silent, and to help each other see that we are, indeed, not alone. We may not have a baby in our arms, but we are still parents.”

It’s a sentiment that, sadly, not all parents hear.

“It’s great to see events like this take place. I wish my sister had support like this when she was going through her losses,” said Jason Sorenson, an attendee of the vigil.

With the outreach efforts of the organizations involved and the close relationships they help foster, hopefully such stories will become less common, said organizers.

“I’m very thankful to have been reconnected with so many friends this evening through loss or the special organizations who serve our special group of parents throughout Arkansas,” said Jodie McGinley, a patient volunteer for a UAMS Patient- and Family-Centered Care Council, who lost her son Eli in 2009. “I also feel like tonight was most definitely a step in the right direction for Arkansas.”